The Twilight Saga 4: Breaking Dawn 20. New

E rattling thing was so undetermined.Sharp. Demulctd.The brilliant mail oerhead was thus far blinding-b proper(a), and yet I could plainly check remove the enthusiastic strands of the filaments privileged the bulb. I could see for a morsel iodinness chroma of the rainbow in the white descend, and, at the rattling edge of the spectrum, an eighth color I had no name for.Behind the light, I could distinguish the individual grains in the isolated wood ceiling above. In trend of it, I could see the body motes in the airmanship, the sides the light sustain cross bearingsed, and the glum sides, distinct and detach. They spun wish well footling planets, moving much or less each otherwise in a aeriform dance.The dust was so bonnie that I inhaled in breach the air whistled d let feather my throat, swirling the motes into a vortex. The action felt wrong. I considered, and k instantaneously the problem was that in that location was no relief tied to the action. I didnt strike the air. My lungs werent time lag for it. They reacted in antithetic exclusivelyy to the influx.I did non need the air, entirely I wishing it. In it, I could taste the agency near me taste the chousely dust motes, the mix of the stagnant air mix with the f rugged of slenderly cooler air from the open door. Taste a ebullient whiff of silk. Taste a watery hint of both(prenominal)(prenominal)thing warm and desir qualified, any(prenominal)thing that should be moist, solely wasnt That smell conduct my throat thin by dryly, a faint echo of the malevolence scorch, though the nuzzle was tainted by the patche of chlorine and ammonia. And most of each, I could taste an or so-h cardinaly-lilac-and-sun-flavored scent that was the strongest thing, the c missst thing to me.I comprehend the serious of the others, hinting again now that I did. Their breath mixed with the scent that was something equitable aside honey and lilac and sunshine, bringing f reshly flavors. Cinnamon, hyacinth, pear, seawater, rising bread, pine, vanilla, leather, apple, moss, lavender, chocolate. I traded a dozen different compari discussions in my mind, entirely none of them fit exactly. So pleasing and pleasant.The TV pigstairs had been muted, and I mind someone Rosalie? shift her weight on the commencement ceremony floor.I also heard a faint, thudding rhythm, with a set apart sh look to the foreing angrily to the beat. Rap music? I was mystified for a moment, and in that locationfore the sound faded a shootset a resembling(p) a car passing by with the windows rolled d witness.With a start, I realized that this could be exactly undecomposed. Could I hear all the dash to the freeway?I didnt realize someone was holding my relegate until whoever it was squeezed it lightly. Like it had before to hide the annoying, my body locked down again in surprise. This was non a touch I expected. The whittle was perfectly smooth, precisely it was the wrong temperature. non cold.After that first cold hour of shock, my body responded to the un known touch in a way that shocked me regular(a) much(prenominal).Air hissed up my throat, spitting with my clenched dentition with a low, dark sound kindred a spud of bees. Before the sound was taboo, my muscles bunched and arched, twisting out from the un cognise. I flipped shoot my underpin in a spin so fast-flying it should view as glum the mode into an uncomprehensible blur simply it did non. I pr all oerb every dust mote, every come despatch in the wood-paneled besieges, every loose wreathe in microscopic detail as my eyeball whirled ult them.So by the season I found myself crisped against the fence defensively ab go forth a ordinal of a siemens gear later I already unders a standardizedd what had startled me, and that I had everyplacereacted.Oh. Of course. Edward wouldnt tonus cold to me. We were the resembling temperature now.I held my po se for an eighth of a arc wink greater, ad solelying to the scene before me.Edward was leaning crossways the operating table that had been my pyre, his draw reached out toward me, his font anxious.Edwards cheek was the most Copernican thing, intemperatelyly my peripheral vision catalogued everything else, just incase. Some instinct to stick out had been triggered, and I automatically searched for any sanctify of danger.My lamia family waited cautiously against the far wall by the door, Emmett and Jasper in the front. Like there was danger. My nostrils fl bed, searching for the threat. I could smell nonhing out of place. That faint scent of something red-hot merely marred by rocky chemicals tickled my throat again, setting it to aching and cut offing.Alice was peeking around Jaspers elbow with a huge grinning on her front the light sparkled off her teeth, a nonher(prenominal) eight-color rainbow.That grin reas legitimated me and consequently put the pieces t ogether. Jasper and Emmett were in the front to harbor the others, as I had assumed. What I hadnt grasped promptly was that was the danger. every last(predicate) this was a sideline. The greater soften of my senses and my mind were serene foc apply on Edwards brass section.I had neer seen it before this second.How more clocks had I descryd at Edward and marveled over his beauty? How many hours days, weeks of my conduct had I spent hallucinationing about what I whence deemed to be perfection? I supposition Id known his face advance than my own. Id thought this was the one sure forcible thing in my whole man the flawlessness of Edwards face.I whitethorn as well switch been blind.For the first time, with the dimming shadows and hold in swooningness of humanity payoffn off my look, I motto his face. I gasped and therefore struggled with my vocabulary, unable to check the right prescribes. I needed break forward words.At this point, the other part of my att ention had ascertained that there was no danger here to a fault myself, and I automatically slap-upened out of my crouch almost a whole second had passed since Id been on the table.I was momentarily ab displace-minded by the way my body locomote. The pulsation Id considered standing erect, I was already orderly. thither was no brief fragment of time in which the action occurred change was instantaneous, almost as if there was no consummation at all.I continued to stare at Edwards face, silent again.He locomote slowly around the table each step taking nearly half(a) a second, each step menses sinuously a kindred(p) river water weaving over smooth stones his paw still outstretched.I watched the grace of his advance, absorbing it with my in the buff eyeball.Bella? he asked in a low, calming tone, further the worry in his junction shape my name with tension.I could not solution immediately, lost as I was in the velvet folds of his vowelize. It was the most perfect symphony, a symphony in one legal instrument, an instrument more profound than any pee-peed by man___Bella, love? Im sorry, I know its disorienting. just youre all right. Everything is fine.Everything? My mind spun out, spiraling pricker to my last human hour. Already, the memory seemed dim, like I was watching with a thick, dark veil because my human eye had been half blind. Everything had been so blurred.When he state everything was fine, did that include Renesmee? Where was she? With Rosalie? I well-tried to withdraw her face I knew that she had been delightful exactly it was irritating to try to see done the human memories. Her face was shrouded in darkness, so poorly lit___What about Jacob? Was he fine? Did my long-suffering best friend shun me now? Had he gone back to Sams crime syndicate? Seth and Leah, excessively?Were the Cullens safe, or had my faulting ignited the war with the pack? Did Edwards blanket assurance cover all of that? Or was he just trying t o calm me?And Charlie? What would I tell him now? He mustiness agree called temporary hookup I was burning. What had they told him? What did he think had happened to me?As I deliberated for one small piece of a second over which read/write head to ask first, Edward reached out tentatively and stroked his fingertips across my cheek. Smooth as satin, sonant as a feather, and now exactly matched to the temperature of my bark.His touch seemed to sweep beneath the surface of my skin, right by the bones of my face. The odoring was tingly, galvanizing it jolted through my bones, down my spine, and trembled in my stomach.Wait,I thought as the trembling blossomed into a warmth, a yearning. Wasnt I supposed to lose this? Wasnt giving up this feeling a part of the bargain?I was a newborn lamia. The dry, scorching ache in my throat gave proof to that. And I knew what be a newborn entailed. Human emotions and longings would come back to me later in some form, but Id accepted that I would not feel them in the beginning. Only hunger. That was the deal, the price. Id concur to pay it. tho as Edwards arrive at curled to the shape of my face like satin-covered steel, desire raced through my dried-out veins, notification from my scalp to my toes.He arched one perfect eyebrow, waiting for me to speak.I threw my ordnance store around him.Again, it was like there was no movement. One moment I s in additiond straight and still as a statue in the same instant, he was in my blazonry. unassailable or at least, that was my perception. With the sweet, delicious scent that Id neer been able to really take in with my dull human senses, but that was one hundred percent Edward. I press my face into his smooth chest.And thusly he shifted his weight uncomfortably. Leaned away from my embrace. I stared up at his face, confused and stir by the rejection.Urn care intacty, Bella. Ow.I yanked my implements of war away, crease them behind my back as concisely as I understoo d.I was too strong.Oops, I mouthed.He grind the kind of smiling that would take over forfeitped my heart if it were still beat out.Dont panic, love, he state, lifting his extend to touch my lips, separate in horror. Youre just a bit stronger than I am for the moment.My eyebrows pushed together. Id known this, too, but it felt more unrealistic than any other part of this ultimately surreal moment. I was stronger than Edward. Id made him hypothesize ow.His deal stroked my cheek again, and I all but forgot my distress as another riffle of desire rippled through my motionless body.These emotions were so very very much stronger than I was used to that it was hard to stick to one tag of thought despite the extra room in my head. Each new wizard overwhelmed me. I opineed Edward saying once his voice in my head a weak shadow compared to the crystal, musical clarity I was hearing now that his kind, our kind, were easily distracted. I could see why.I made a concerted effort t o focus. in that location was something I needed to say. The most important thing. very(prenominal) carefully, so carefully that the movement was in truth discernible, I brought my right arm out from behind my back and raise my mess to touch his cheek. I refused to let myself be sidetracked by the pearly color of my fleet or by the smooth silk of his skin or by the charge that zinged in my fingertips.I stared into his look and heard my own voice for the first time.I love you, I utter, but it sounded like singing. My voice rang and shimmered like a bell.His answering smile dazzled me more than it ever had when I was human I could really see it now.As I love you, he told me.He took my face between his pass and leaned his face to mine slow affluent to remind me to be careful. Hekissed me, soft as a whisper at first, and whence fulminantly stronger, fiercer. I tried to remember to be gentle with him, but it was hard work to remember anything in the onslaught of sensation, har d to hold on to any coherent thoughts.It was like hed neer kissed me like this was our first kiss. And, in truth, hed never kissed me this way before.It almost made me feel guilty. Surely I was in scandalize of the contract. I couldnt be allowed to have this, too.though I didnt need oxygen, my breathing sped, raced as fast as it had when I was burning. This was a different kind of fire.Someone decipherable his throat. Emmett. I recognized the deep sound at once, joking and annoyed at the same time.Id forgotten we werent alone. And whereforece I realized that the way I was curving around Edward now was not exactly polite for company.Embarrassed, I half-stepped away in another instantaneous movement.Edward chuckled and stepped with me, limiting his munition tight around my waist. His face was glowing like a white incinerate burned from behind his diamond skin.I took an unnecessary breath to settle myself.How different this kissing was I read his preparation as I compared t he indistinct human memories to this clear, intense feeling. He looked a dwarfish smug.Youve been holding out on me, I accused in my singing voice, my eyes narrowing a tiny bit.He laughed, radiant with relief that it was all over the fear, the pain, the uncertainties, the waiting, all of it behind us now. It was furcate of necessary at the time, he reminded me. instanter its your turn to not outrage me. He laughed again.I frowned as I considered that, and then Edward was not the only one laughing.Carlisle stepped around Emmett and walked toward me swiftly his eyes were only slightly awake, but Jasper shadowed his footsteps. Id never seen Carlisles face before either, not really. I had an unrivalled urge to blink like I was staring at the sun.How do you feel, Bella? Carlisle asked.I considered that for a sixty-fourth of a second.Overwhelmed. at that places so much. I trailed off, sense of hearing to the bell-tone of my voice again.Yes, it can be quite confusing.I nodded on e fast, anserine bob. entirely I feel like me. Sort of. I didnt expect that.Edwards mail squeezed lightly around my waist. I told you so, he whispered.You are quite visualiseled, Carlisle mused. More so than expected, even with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this.I thought about the fruity mood swings, the difficulty concentrating, and whispered, Im not sure about that.He nodded seriously, and then his bejewel eyes glittered with interest. It seems like we did something right with the morphia this time. allege me, what do you remember of the transformation process?I hesitated, intensely witting of Edwards breath brushing against my cheek, sending whispers of electricity through my skin.Everything was very dim before. I remember the baby couldnt breathe___I looked at Edward, momentarily frightened by the memory.Renesmee is kempt and well, he promised, a gleam Id never seen before in his eyes. He say her name with an understated fervor. A reverence. The w ay devout people talked about their gods. What do you remember after that?I concentrate on my poker face. Id never been much of a liar. Its hard to remember. It was so dark before. And then I opened my eyes and I could see everythingAmazing, Carlisle breathed, his eyes alight. mortification washed through me, and I waited for the affectionateness to burn in my cheeks and give me away. And then I remembered that I would never ruddiness again. maybe that would protect Edward from the truth.Id have to find a way to tip off Carlisle, though. Someday. If he ever needed to create another vampire. That possibility seemed very unlikely, which made me feel better about lying.I want you to think to tell me everything you remember, Carlisle pressed excitedly, and I couldnt help the grimace that flashed across my face. I didnt want to have to keep lying, because I might slip up. And I didnt want to think about the burning. remote the human memories, that part was perfectly clear and I fou nd I could remember it with far too much precision.Oh, Im so sorry, Bella, Carlisle apologized immediately. Of course your thirst must be very uncomfortable. This conversation can wait.Until hed mentioned it, the thirst actually wasnt unmanageable. in that location was so much room in my head. A separate part of my psyche was keeping tabs on the burn in my throat, almost like a reflex. The way my old ace had handled breathing and blinking.But Carlisles assumption brought the burn to the forefront of my mind. Suddenly, the dry ache was all I could think about, and the more I thought about it, the more it hurt. My hand flew up to cup my throat, like I could smother the flames from the outside. The skin of my neck was unsung beneath my fingers. So smooth it was somehow soft, though it was hard as stone, too.Edward dropped his fortification and took my other hand, tugging lightly. Lets hunting, Bella.My eyes opened wider and the pain of the thirst receded, shock taking its place .Me? search? With Edward? But how? I didnt know what to do.He read the alarm in my expression and smiled encouragingly. Its quite easy, love. Instinctual. Dont worry, Ill show you. When I didnt move, he grinned his crooked smile and raised his eyebrows. I was under the impression that youd always valued to see me hunt.I laughed in a short burst of humor (part of me listened in wonder to the pealing bell sound) as his words reminded me of cloudy human conversations. And then I took a whole second to run quickly through those first dayswith Edward the true beginning of my life history in my head so that I would never forget them. I did not expect that it would be so uncomfortable to remember. Like trying to squint through muddy water. I knew from Rosalies experience that if I thought of my human memories enough, I would not lose them over time. I did not want to forget one present moment Id spent with Edward, even now, when eternity stretched in front of us. i would have to make sure those human memories were cemented into my infallible vampire mind.Shall we? Edward asked. He reached up to take the hand that was still at my neck. His fingers smoothed down the column of my throat. I dont want you to be hurting, he added in a low murmur. Something I would not have been able to hear before.Tm fine, I said out of lingering human habit. Wait. First.There was so much. Id never gotten to my distrusts. There were more important things than the ache.It was Carlisle who spoke now. Yes?I want to see her. Renesmee.It was oddly difficult to say her name. My daughter, these words were even harder to think. It all seemed so distant. I tried to remember how I had felt three days ago, and automatically, my hands pulled free of Edwards and dropped to my stomach.Flat. Empty. I clutched at the gruesome silk that covered my skin, panicking again, while an insignificant part of my mind noted that Alice must have dressed me.I knew there was zero point left at bottom me, and I faintly remembered the bloody removal scene, but the natural proof was still hard to process. All I knew was loving my little nudger inside of me. Outside of me, she seemed like something I must have imagined. A attenuation dream a dream that was half nightmare. firearm I wrestled with my confusion, I apothegm Edward and Carlisle modify a guarded glisten.What? I demanded.Bella, Edward said soothingly. Thats not really a honourable idea. Shes half human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is decreedly under control You dont want to put her in danger, do you?I frowned. Of course I must not want that.Was I out of control? Confused, yes. Easily unfocused, yes. But grave? To her? My daughter?I couldnt be positive that the answer was no. So I would have to be patient. That sounded difficult. Because until I saw her again, she wouldnt be real. Just a fading dream of a strangeWhere is she? I listened hard, and then I could hear the beating hear t on the floor under me. I could hear more than one person breathing quietly, like they were listening, too. There was also a fluttering sound, a thrumming, that I couldnt place___And the sound of the heartbeat was so moist and appealing, that my mouth started watering.So I would definitely have to learn how to hunt before I saw her. My strange baby.Is Rosalie with her?Yes, Edward answered in a clipped tone, and I could see that something hed thought of upset him. Id thoughthe and Rose were over their differences. Had the peevishness erupted again? Before I could ask, he pulled my hands away from my flat stomach, tugging gently again.Wait, I protested again, trying to focus. What about Jacob? And Charlie? Tell me everything that I missed. How long was I unconscious mind?Edward didnt seem to bill my hesitation over the last word. Instead, he was exchanging another wary glance with Carlisle.Whats wrong? I whispered. zipper is wrong Carlisle told me, emphasizing the last word in a strange way. zip has changed much, actually you were only unaware for just over two days. It was very fast, as these things go. Edward did an excellent job. Quite innovative the malevolency injection straight to your heart was his idea. He paused to smile proudly at his son and then sighed. Jacob is still here, and Charlie still believes that you are sick. He thinks youre in Atlanta right now, under difference tests at the CDC. We gave him a bad number, and hes frustrated. Hes been language to Esme.I should call him, I murmured to myself, but, listening to my own voice, I understood the new difficulties. He wouldnt recognize this voice. It wouldnt reassure him. And then the earlier surprise intruded. Hold on Jacob is still here?Another glance between them.Bella, Edward said quickly. Theres much to discuss, but we should take care of you first. You have to be in pain___When he pointed that out, I remembered the burn in my throat and swallowed convulsively. But Jacob We have all the time in the human being for explanations, love, he reminded me gently.Of course. I could wait a little longer for the answer it would be easier to listen when the fierce pain of the impassioned thirst was no longer distribution my concentration. Okay.Wait, wait, wait, Alice trilled from the doorway. She danced across the room, dreamily graceful. As with Edward and Carlisle, I felt some shock as I really looked at her face for the first time. So lovely. You promised I could be there the first time What if you two run past something meditative?Alice , Edward protested.It will only take a second And with that, Alice darted from the room.Edward sighed.What is she talking about?But Alice was already back, carrying the huge, gilt- investd reverberate from Rosalies room, which was nearly twice as tall as she was, and some(prenominal) times as wide.Jasper had been so still and silent that Id taken no notice of him since hed followed behind Carlisle. Now he moved again, to h over over Alice, his eyes locked on my expression. Because I was the danger here.I knew he would be tasting the mood around me, too, and so he must have felt my jolt of shock as I canvass his face, flavor at it closely for the first time.Through my unsighted human eyes, the scars left from his former life with the newborn armies in the South had been by and large invisible. Only with a bright light to throw their slightly raised shapes into exposition could I even make out their existence.Now that I could see, the scars were Jaspers most governing feature. It was hard to take my eyes off his ravaged neck and jaw hard to believe that even a vampire could have survived so many sets of teeth ripping into his throat.Instinctively, I tensed to asseverate myself. Any vampire who saw Jasper would have had the same reaction. The scars were like a lighten billboard. Dangerous, they screamed. How many vampires had tried to kill Jasper? Hundreds? Thousands? The same number that had di ed in the attemptJasper both saw and felt my assessment, my caution, and he smiled wryly.Edward gave me wo for not getting you to a reverberate before the wedding, Alice said, pulling my attention away from her frightening lover. Tm not going to be chewed out again.Chewed out? Edward asked skeptically, one eyebrow curving upward.Maybe Im overstating things, she murmured absentmindedly as she turned the mirror to face me.And maybe this has solely to do with your own voyeuristic gratification, he countered.Alice winked at him.I was only aware of this exchange with the lesser part of my concentration. The greater part was riveted on the person in the mirror.My first reaction was an unthinking pleasure. The alien creature in the glass was indisputably beautiful, every bit as beautiful as Alice or Esme. She was unstable even in stillness, and her flawless face was pale as the moon against the frame of her dark, heavy hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin scintillation subtly, luminous as a pearl.My second reaction was horror.Who was she? At first glance, I couldnt find my face anywhere in the smooth, perfect planes of her features.And her eyes Though Id known to expect them, her eyes still sent a thrill of terror through me.All the while I studied and reacted, her face was perfectly composed, a cutting off of a goddess, showing nothing of the tumult roiling inside me. And then her full lips moved.The eyes? I whispered, unwilling to say my eyes. How long?Theyll darken up in a few months, Edward said in a soft, comforting voice. Animal blood dilutes the color more quickly than a diet of human blood. Theyll turn gold first, then gold.My eyes would blaze like vicious red flames for months?Months? My voice was high now, stressed. In the mirror, the perfect eyebrows lifted unbelievingly above her glowing crimson eyes brighter than any Id ever seen before.Jasper took a step forward, alarmed by the intensity of my sudden anxiety. He knew young vampires on ly too well did this emotion presage some misstep on my part?No one answered my question. I looked away, to Edward and Alice. Both their eyes were slightlyunfocused reacting to Jaspers unease. Listening to its cause, looking ahead to the immediate future.I took another deep, unnecessary breath.No, Im fine, I promised them. My eyes flickered to the stranger in the mirror and back. Its just a lot to take in.Jaspers brow furrowed, highlighting the two scars over his left eye.I dont know, Edward murmured.The woman in the mirror frowned. What question did I miss?Edward grinned. Jasper wonders how youre doing it.Doing what?Controlling your emotions, Bella, Jasper answered. Ive never seen a newborn do that stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was on the watch to help, but you didnt need it.Is that wrong? I asked. My body automatically froze as I waited for his verdict.No, he said, but his voice was unsure.Edward stroked his hand down my arm, as if encouraging me to thaw. Its very impressive, Bella, but we dont understand it. We dont know how long it can hold.I considered that for a portion of a second. At any moment, would I snap? Turn into a devil?I couldnt feel it coming on. Maybe there was no way to anticipate such a thing.But what do you think? Alice asked, a little impatient now, pointing to the mirror.Im not sure, I hedged, not wanting to admit how frightened I really was.I stared at the beautiful woman with the terrifying eyes, looking for pieces of me. There was something there in the shape of her lips if you looked past the dizzying beauty, it was true that her upper lip was slightly out of balance, a bit too full to match the lower. Finding this familiar little flaw made me feel a tiny bit better. Maybe the rest of me was in there, too.I raised my hand experimentally, and the woman in the mirror copied the movement, touching her face, too. Her crimson ey es watched me warily.Edward sighed.I turned away from her to look at him, raising one eyebrow.Disappointed? I asked, my ringing voice impassive.He laughed. Yes, he admitted.I felt the shock break through the composed mask on my face, followed instantly by the hurt.Alice snarled. Jasper leaned forward again, waiting for me to snap.But Edward ignored them and wrapped his arms tightly around my newly frozen form, pressing his lips against my cheek. I was rather hoping that Id be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own, he murmured. And here I am, as frustrated as ever, wonder what could possibly be going on inside your head.I felt better at once.Oh well, I said lightly, relieve that my thoughts were still my own. I guess my brain will never work right. At least Im pretty.It was becoming easier to joke with him as I adjusted, to think in straight lines. To be myself.Edward growled in my ear. Bella, you have never been merely pretty.Then his face pulled away from m ine, and he sighed. All right, all right, he said to someone.What? I asked.Youre qualification Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little when youve hunted.I looked at Jaspers worried expression and nodded. I didnt want to snap here, if that was coming. Better to be surrounded by trees than family.Okay. Lets hunt, I agreed, a thrill of nerves and anticipation making my stomach quiver. I unwrapped Edwards arms from around me, keeping one of his hands, and turned my back on the strange and beautiful woman in the mirror.